Last Call
by fiendofspace
Summary: John hoped that once he got to college, he would be freed from his past. However, he soon finds that the problems that he used to face have followed him. And he can't take it anymore. Dave is the only one who can convince him that he can overcome these impasses... but will Dave's words be enough? Two-shot. Tw: depression, self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

John sat at his desk, his chin in his hands. The only light in his dimly-lit room came from a small lamp illuminating the desk in front of him. The lamp cast its feeble, sallow light upon three objects on the tabletop and threw angular shadows across the surface. John absently picked up one of the objects, examining it in the watery light. He had come into possession of this pocketknife two weeks prior. He had found it in his backpack along with a crumpled note. So far, he hadn't found a use for it. Until tonight, that is. He marveled silently at the fresh blood on the blade. His arm had stopped stinging an hour ago, but blood was still dripping in thin streams from the methodic wounds and onto the carpet. He placed the knife back onto the desk next to a glass of cool water. The lamp shining through the glass cast a muddied crystal patch of converging light across the tabletop. Next to the water was a bottle of prescription pain medication. He'd borrowed them for a headache - but the longer the bottle sat on his desk, the more he thought.

It hadn't taken much thinking, really. He had only been in college for a month, but it was already becoming clear to him that the problems that he had faced all his life had followed him. So here he was now, with a bottle of meds on the table and a sticky note entailing his will folded in the pocket of his jacket. It was a simple will, predictable even. All of his belongings would, of course, go to his best friend. John sighed, trying not to think about Dave. What would Dave say if he were here right now? Probably something along the lines of "get over it, dork." Yes, that sounded right.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he stopped at Dave's name. He hesitated. Dave was his best friend, and he deserved some sort of formal goodbye. But what would he say? Taking a deep breath, John pushed the "call" button.

After a few rings, Dave answered. "Sup Egbert? I was about to call you."

"Oh?" asked John, keeping his voice steady. "How come?"

"You got any food? I'm not walking all the way to the dining hall, but I could eat a fucking horse. A whole stampede of goddamn horses. Seriously, how did you talk me into living in the dorms that are so far away from the dining hall? Actually the worst idea ever."

"Oh, uh… I have some ramen, but that's it…"

"Sweet. I'll be right over."

"No, wait!" John half-shouted. "Don't…" he clapped his hand over his mouth. Of course he wanted to see Dave one more time, but there was no way _that_ would turn out well. He'd have to content himself with just the phone call.

There was silence for a moment on the other line. "You okay, bro?" asked Dave cautiously.

"I'm fine," said John, feeling tears creeping into his voice. "Just… don't come over."

More silence. "Alright, whatever," came Dave's reply.

John cleared his throat, taking a shuddering breath. He wanted to say more, but what? "You've been a good friend, Dave. Thank you."

"Wait, John, what the hell are you talking about?" asked Dave quickly.

"I just wanted you to know that," John replied, pinching the bridge of his nose underneath his glasses. "I'm sorry."

"Are you okay? You're freaking me the fuck out, what's going on?" There was an unfamiliar touch of panic in his voice, becoming more and more prevalent.

John hung up and set the phone on the desk next to the knife. He'd said what he needed to say. With trembling hands, he picked up the prescription bottle. The glaring warning printed on the label went unnoticed as he shook some of the pills into his hand and picked up the glass of water. He looked at the objects, their purposes seeming foreign to him. He hesitated. This would get rid of all of his problems. He knew that much. But what about the people he was leaving behind? John had never heard anything but cool sarcasm and monotony in Dave's voice, but on the phone he sounded panicked. His sister, Jade… Knowing her, she'd find some way to blame herself for all of this. And Rose… There was no telling what Rose would do. Could he do this to them? He looked at the pills in his hand, a newfound sense of guilt washing over him. But as quickly as the thought had come to him, he shot it down again. Of course he could do it.

He put one of the pills in his mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water from the glass. Tears started to stream from his eyes as he took another. He was almost to his third when he was interrupted by a loud voice at the door.

"John? John, are you in there?" shouted Dave. There came the sound of a key being hastily jammed into the door.

Of course, Dave had an extra key to his dorm in case John lost his own. Shit. He could have pretended that he wasn't there when Dave knocked, but it had slipped his mind that Dave had his own key. John swept the knife and the medication hastily into a drawer, almost knocking over the lamp in the process, and pulled on a jacket to cover his arm. He sprang onto the sofa and took what he thought looked like a nonchalant position just as Dave ran into the room.

"John?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

John forced a smile. "You wanted soup, right?"

Dave looked quickly around the room, obviously searching for anything out of the ordinary. "Uh, yeah…" He sank slowly onto the chair at John's desk. "What was up with that phone call? 'You're a good friend' and all that."

"Well, you are," John said, starting to find it easier to keep his voice steady the longer that he talked with Dave.

"You okay, man?" he asked. "Almost flipped my shit after that fucking message. Seriously, what the hell was-" He stopped, peering at the floor beneath the desk. "What the…" Dave knelt to examine the rusty stain on the carpet by John's desk. "Holy shit, John, what did you do?!"

John subtly pressed his injured arm firmly to his side, noticing the blood start to soak through the sleeve. "I didn't want you to-" He couldn't manage the rest of the sentence, his voice finally breaking as he choked on his words.

"Oh god," muttered Dave, noticing John's subtle reaction. He hurried over to John and wrenched the sleeve back from his arm. "Oh god, John…" Dave swiftly pulled off his own jacket and wrapped it tightly around John's arm. "How did this happen?"

John cast his eyes down and pointed over to his desk, not bothering to disguise his silent tears.

Dave went to the desk and opened the drawer, pulling the knife from inside. Within seconds, however, the knife fell to the floor, forgotten, as something else in the drawer caught Dave's attention. He retrieved the pill bottle and stood in stunned silence for a moment as he made the connection to their grisly purpose. "_How many did you take_?" he said, marked panic in his voice as he rushed back over to John. "Hell, John, _how many_?" he shouted, gripping John's shoulders and forcing him to look at him.

"Only t-two," said John, breaking away from him and curling into the couch in a desperate attempt to just disappear. "Stop, Dave, just shut up!"

Dave stood completely still, holding the pill bottle in his hand and staring uncomprehendingly at his best friend shaking on the couch. He dropped the bottle on the floor and sat beside John. For a few moments, there was no noise except John's quiet sobs. Dave glanced over at him, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts that he had no idea how to put into words. Having always kept up his aloof façade, he had no idea how to comfort his best friend. But he had to start somewhere. He'd never seen John do anything but smile, and this incident was a shock to him. John needed him now more than ever. But what could he do? He squinted his eyes shut, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. How had he not realized that John needed help? It was a horrible thought that he had been so close to losing his best friend for good.

"What happened?" Dave finally asked.

John shook his head. "Everything stayed exactly the same," he said, sniffling into a cushion. "I th-thought all of this shit would stop now that we're in college, b-but it didn't…"

Tentatively, Dave put an arm over John's shoulders. John leaned into him gratefully, still sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes. Beside Dave, there was a green book laying on a small table. Dave immediately recognized it as John's journal. He picked it up and flipped to the most recent entries. After finding a promising passage, he began to read.

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**Thank you for reading part one! Part two will be uploaded by next week, so please stay tuned! **

**This is my first fanfiction, so comments are greatly welcomed. **

**- shell . sea . sand**


	2. Chapter 2

September 20th

_it's the first day of college! a brand new, fresh start! my classes are pretty great, and let's not forget that dave's here too! i mean, who actually ends up going to the same college as their best friend? not many people. i'm so excited…_

The entry continued, but Dave skipped ahead a few pages before beginning to read again.

September 27th

_college is still pretty great! the only thing that's bothering me is that there's this group of dumb seniors that don't seem to like me very much. i don't know why. i'm trying to make friends, so i don't know what i did wrong here. but i'm standing strong!_

Dave skipped ahead a few more pages, having the awful feeling that he knew where this was going.

October 6th

_they've started ambushing me on my way back from class. i have this random economics class that ends at 7, so they catch me on their way back from football. it's only been verbal abuse so far. i can only hope that it stays that way._

October 8th

_today i found a knife in my backpack. there was a crumpled-up note with it. apparently, i "don't deserve to live."_

Dave could feel anger boiling inside of him. The fact that John was still leaning on him, sniffling, just made him angrier. Who were these assholes, and what the hell did they want with John?

October 9th

_they asked me if i got their "present." i didn't respond, and they got angry. they chased me off campus and didn't stop until i ran up a tree. they got bored and left eventually but i was scared that they would come back. i stayed there until almost ten o'clock. i think i made dave mad. i was supposed to hang out with him after class._

Dave remembered that day. He was irritated that John had flaked out on him. Shit. The next few entries were very similar, growing in intensity… and then he reached today's entry.

October 28th

_what the hell am i doing here? i'm not smart enough for college, and hell if i know what i'm going to do after i graduate. jade and rose will probably become famous scientists and dave can go to town on his turntables, but my future is about as bright as alaska in winter._

_today i was walking back from econ when those seniors ambushed me. this time they didn't even say anything. two of them grabbed me and another punched me too many times to count. then they ran away and left me there. i sat on the sidewalk for ten minutes, completely still._

_i want to talk to dave about this. he'd probably say i'm a wimp for not standing up to them. i can't help it. they scare me. one of them put more notes in my backpack. i ripped them up, but i can't forget what they said._

_i've decided that this will be my final entry. i don't even know what i'm doing anymore. those guys are right. i really am worthless._

_for whoever is reading this, check my jacket pocket. my will is there. it's not much._

_and dave, don't blame yourself for this. it's my choice. you were the best friend a guy could ask for. i'm sorry._

Dave closed the book silently. John's tears had ceased to fall, but he stared with glassy eyes at the wall across from them as he inhaled shuddering breaths.

"Why didn't you say anything?" asked Dave quietly.

John was quiet for a moment. "I didn't want you to worry."

"Shit, John. I'd rather be worried about you while you're alive than find you dead on the floor." He glanced at the green book. "I'll kick their asses," he swore angrily.

"Don't be mad, Dave," said John feebly.

"Don't be mad?" he repeated incredulously. "Don't be mad? My best friend almost committed suicide, of course I'm going to be mad as hell!" Dave put his other arm around John. "God, John, why didn't you say anything…" He looked at the clock that was over the television. It was 9 PM. Not too late. "I'm calling Jade and Rose."

John sat up sharply, wriggling out of Dave's arms. "Please don't." he pleaded. "I don't want to have to explain this to them…"

"I'll explain. I'm calling them."

He quickly called both of their sisters, giving brief instructions to come quickly and bring a first-aid kit. Once he was assured that they were on their way, he hung up the phone and went into the dorm's small kitchen area. It could hardly even be called that, since it only included a mini-fridge, a microwave, and a small basin sink. He grabbed a clean towel from underneath the sink and went back to where John lay on the couch. Dave removed the jacket from John's arm, throwing it into the basin sink.

"We could have helped you, man," said Dave, gingerly wrapping the towel over the lateral cuts on John's arm. "You still have friends. Being picked on by a bunch of brainless punks won't change that."

John closed his eyes. "I'm pathetic, Dave. I've been harassed my entire life, but never like this. The only real friends I have are you and Rose, and for pete's sake, we met online!" He sighed. "Now people are scared to be around me because they don't want to be bothered by the Seniors."

"I could have called my Bro and set up a sort of ass-kicking party or something. Those idiots would never know what hit them. Bro loves stuff like that."

To Dave's surprise, John smiled. "I can imagine," John said, leaning once more on Dave's shoulder.

Dave gazed darkly at the pill bottle on the floor. "How many of those were you planning on taking?"

"I didn't know what would do the trick. Didn't want to half-ass it. So, you know... all of them, I guess."

Dave shook his head. "But really. You of all people..."

John sniffed again. "When people tell you every day that you should be dead, you start to believe it."

The door opened and Jade entered, Rose following not far behind. "John, are you okay?" asked Jade, seeing John curled into Dave on the couch. "What's wrong?"

"Is he hurt?" asked Rose, bringing the medical kit to Dave.

Dave carefully unwrapped the makeshift bandage from John's arm as John hid his face in Dave's shoulder. The girls gasped as they saw the wounds.

"Oh my god, John," said Jade, running to him and hugging him tightly around the middle.

Rose got to work immediately, retrieving disinfectant and gauze from her first-aid kit. "This will sting," she said quietly, uncapping the disinfectant and applying it to John's arm.

John winced and clung to Dave's shirt.

Jade slowly got up from the couch and picked up the pill bottle from the floor. She looked questioningly at Dave, who nodded. "What happened?" she asked.

"A whole lot of bullshit," said Dave simply. "You'll know eventually. But John's got a while to go before he starts telling that story."

Rose finished wrapping the gauze around his arm and sat beside him on the sofa. "I'm always here if you need to talk," she told him. "Psychology major, remember?"

"Yeah," said John. "Thanks guys, I could never really leave you."

Jade silently went up beside Rose and held out the pill bottle to her. Rose looked at it for a moment, then turned to Dave. "Did he try to...?" Dave nodded shortly. "This is worse than I thought," she muttered. "Jade, come with me," she said, standing and heading for the door.

"Where are we going?" asked Jade, reluctant to leave.

"Back to the girls' dorms to get our things. We're spending the night here tonight, all of us." Rose left, and Jade cautiously followed her.

The room was silent once more. John's breathing had thankfully become more steady. "Thanks for calling me," Dave said. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't be here."

"Yeah," said John. "I thought you deserved some formal goodbye."

Dave went silent again. "Shit, what if you hadn't called? What would have happened then?"

John didn't answer. "I'm glad you're here," he said after a few moments.

"Me too."

John closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his best friend's breathing. He was glad that Dave had shown up and stopped him, for only now he realized that he had the best friends he could ever ask for. He could have gone to Rose, Jade, or Dave with his problems at any time and they would have listened, but instead he took them foolishly upon himself. He had people in his life who could help to counteract the bad things that were happening. He was thankful that his best friend had dropped his mask of indifference when it mattered most. All he would have from this ordeal would be scars and a painful memory. With the help of his friends, he would be able to get back on the right track.

"Dave?" he said, looking up at his friend.

Dave turned to him. "Hm?"

"Thanks."

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**Thank you for reading and reviewing! You guys are great. **

**Special thanks to Grant for reading and editing. Honestly can't do this without him. **

**Thank you all so much! **

**- fiendofspace**


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